Christmas

The older I get the more disconnected and critical I become around December. So just for fun I goggled "I hate Christmas" and this was the first hit:

ten reasons why i hate christmas


It's beginning to look a lot like Hell...uh, I mean Christmas. Every year around this time, I spiral into a bottomless pit of anger and depression. Here's why.

(1) CHRISTMAS CARDS

Nothing says "I don't really give a fuck about you" like a Christmas card that comes out of a box of twenty identical Christmas cards. Far worse is the Christmas newsletter: "Hi, I can't be bothered to write each of you a personal letter, so here's a computer-printed newsletter to brief you on my boring year." Also on the Rob shit-list: cutesy family Christmas cards with the whole family posing on the front; Christmas Create-a-Cards; and Christmas e-mail postcards. And if anyone e-mails me a snowball this year, I will track them down and do interesting things to them with a fork.

(2) CHRISTMAS TREES

At our house, we have the same artificial tree we've had since I was a baby. And these days, you can buy an artificial tree that looks exactly like a real one. So why buy a real one? For the pine scent? (Go out and sniff a pine cone, asshole.) For the joy of vacuuming pine needles off the rug every day? What?? I don't get it. And then, after New Year's Day, you see the most depressing thing ever: all the dead, rejected trees sitting out on the sidewalk, waiting to be taken to the dump. Mutilate a living thing, take it home, hang shit on it, then kick it to the curb: That's everything evil about America in a nutshell.

(3) CHRISTMAS PARTIES

Especially work-related. My Christmas party this year comes after a 9-to-6 day for me. After such a day, I want to go home and be alone. I don't want to hang with the same people I've been looking at all day. Then every year there's some sort of idiotic theme to the gift-giving (more on that later). Last year everyone had to write a poem, which was kind of cool; I can handle that. This year, though, everyone had to buy something red. (I was going to give a vial of my own blood, but I didn't think that would go over.) Question: If the point of these wingdings is to enjoy each other's company, why not just forget the gifts?

(4) CHRISTMAS GREED

This time of year is when you start overhearing the little brats screaming to their parents that they want the toy du jour -- this year, of course, it's a Furby. Parents are caught in a cruel bind: They can't very well say "Sorry, kids, Furbys are expensive and hard to find," because then the little shits will just ask Santa for one. So the parents pretty much have to pay through the nose for a Furby. Christmas is one compelling reason not to have kids unless you're Jewish or some other religion that doesn't celebrate Christmas, like Wicca.

(5) CHRISTMAS CAROLS

Ken Souza, who shares my hatred of Xmas music, swears by the three TWISTED CHRISTMAS discs -- and from the tracks we've all heard on the radio, they're pretty damn funny. I also like Kyle's "A Lonely Jew on Christmas," Cartman's cattle-prod rendition of "O Holy Night," Tom Lehrer's "A Christmas Carol" (quoted above), Run-DMC's "Christmas in Hollis," Bob and Doug MacKenzie's "12 Days of Christmas" ("On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me -- a beer"), and the Kinks' "Father Christmas." And I always welcome Adam Sandler's two Chanukah songs. As for the other muzak, I'm all for dumping it into a large hole, setting it on fire, and pissing out the flames.

(6) CHRISTMAS MOVIES

I only recognize two Christmas movies: SCROOGED (for Bill Murray) and ONE MAGIC CHRISTMAS (for sick laughs). Then there are the Xmas horror flicks, like BLACK CHRISTMAS (which John Carpenter clearly saw before making HALLOWEEN), CHRISTMAS EVIL (a favorite of John Waters), SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT, and JACK FROST (the one about the killer snowman, not the Michael Keaton one). Everything else, I can live without -- even IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE, though it features my favorite actor, Jimmy Stewart. Then there's A CHRISTMAS STORY. (Okay, I can only speak for myself here, because I am definitely in the minority on A CHRISTMAS STORY, which everyone else on the planet adores, and which I loathe with the intensity of a laser beam. There's, like, one good scene -- the visit to Santa -- but everything else in the movie, I despise, beginning with Jean Shepherd's annoying, ineptly written narration: "My fevered brain seethed with the effort of trying to come up with the infinitely subtle devices necessary to implant the Red Ryder Range Model Air Rifle indelibly into my parents' subsconscious!" Mr. Shepherd, meet Mr. Strunk and Mr. White.) As for Xmas specials, there's A CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS and MR. MAGOO'S CHRISTMAS CAROL, which I haven't seen in years. Everything else? Yawn.

(7) A CHRISTMAS CAROL

There are several good modern variations on it (see above), but you know what? Dickens' perennial fable of redemption is the granddaddy of a thousand lame movies: REGARDING HENRY, THE DOCTOR, LIFE STINKS (a lot of them seemed to come out around the same time), dozens of others -- they're ALL basically the Scrooge story: Mean person learns to be nice. Or the '90s version: Busy dad learns to spend more time with the kids. Yes, the working dad has become the Scrooge of the '90s -- witness HOOK, LIAR LIAR, and JACK FROST, to name but three.

(8) CHRISTMAS SHOPPING

The insanity begins the day after Thanksgiving, when anyone with two brain cells to rub together will stay the hell away from anything resembling a retail store. Somehow, though, the idiots come out in force every year. And there's no let-up until at least the second week of January, because even after Christmas, people return their shitty gifts (see below). And it's not as if the Christmas shopping season begins in November: you start seeing Christmas commercials and store decorations as early as October. Which brings me to...

(9) CHRISTMAS SHOPPERS (EARLY-BIRDS)

The only thing worse than the moron who waits until December 24 to do all his or her Christmas shopping is the smug bitch who has all her shopping done by July. That's not misogynist: It's always women who shop this far in advance. (Name three guys who have their shopping done before December.) Now, so as not to irk those (women) who conscientiously buy their Christmas gifts a little at a time during the year: I am speaking here of the ones who can't resist telling you, "Oh, I got all my shopping done before July." In other words: It's fine by me if they do it; I just don't want to hear it. Because it makes me want to divide such people into 17 asymmetrical pieces. So for those people, some advice: If the topic comes up ... lie. Claim that you're even farther behind on your shopping than the rest of us. That's the best gift you can give your friends.

(10) CHRISTMAS GIFTS

The whole giving-and-getting thing: ick. When you exchange gifts with someone, you feel bad if the gift you gave them is cheaper than the gift they gave you; you also feel bad if it's the reverse. "Wow, a DVD player! Uh ... thanks ... I got you a bag of chips." You calculate just how much to spend on each person, which means you're basically putting a price on your love. How much is Mom worth? $150? $200? How about your cousin? One great reason to stay away from romance is the agonizing over what to get your boy/girlfriend that first Christmas. And what to get his/her parents, siblings, etc....And of course he/she (usually she) will say, "You don't have to get me anything. Just as long as we can spend Christmas together." This, let me tell you, is horseshit.

I'd say I agree with 8 of the 10 comments above about Christmas. But I haven't given up or going to the dark-side completely, my desperate need to please and fit in forced me to bake three batches of cookies for my building manager and some friends. Enjoy!

More of Stephen Lynch

Ok, I promise this is the last video of Stephen Lynch. I keep finding his stuff and can't resist sharing it with you.

Stephen Lynch

I promise I will update my blog and write soon. Meanwhile, have fun with these videos from Stephen Lynch. They are so wrong! And so right! LOL

Still Life Pastel Paiting Class

I suck with COLORS! Seriously, my paintings look like kid's coloring drawing (flat and uninteresting). Sorry kids! I will post my first project when I overcome the disappointment...
Being the class monitor, and having paid only 10% of the class price, has diminished the pressure to succeed. The teacher, Joseph Lesser is super friendly and such a character. Very knowledgeable and patient. If you want to check his website, he has cool stuff.

Joseph Lesser

ArT cLAsS

Os Fundamentos de Desenho II

Ja na sétima semana de classe na escola de arte Gage, e terceiro projeto artístico, começamos a ultilizar carvão ao invés de lápis. A diferença é grande, pois desenhos a carvão são mais rápidos, menos detalhados e mais "sujos". Sujos no sentido de deixar as mãos pretinhas, cara marcada se não tiver cuidado apesar de sempre estar limpando os mãos numa toalha. O resultado é sem dúvida precioso!

Mais duas semanas antes do fim das aulas. O que é bom sempre acaba. Mas já estou decidindo qual será a próxima classe...Beginning Figure Drawing (Desenho de figuras para iniciantes).

Aqui está os três primeiros projetos terminados em classe. O primeiro e segundo feito a lápis e o terceiro com carvão. O quarto desenho é uma cópia inacabada de uma foto no jardim botânico.







...em progresso


Clique no nome da professora para ver seu perfil e algumas de suas obras. Margaret Davidson

End of Coffee Abstinence

Saturday came by and I finally had a cup of (drip) coffee. To my disappointment I didn’t even get that jitteriness high. Damn!
At the end I realize that the lack of coffee helps with the fatigue by replacing it with lethargy. On the good note I probably saved around twenty bucks; got to drink some tasty teas and had no problems sleeping at night – or even during the day as a matter of fact.
From now on I will continue to drink my soothing daily cup of coffee. Why not?

cont.

DAY 6 and DAY 7
I had no problem without coffee on day 6. I went to work, had my nice cup of Cherry Amaretto tee with a snack, biked home and went to class. I didn't miss having my caffeinated fix at all.

But yesterday, Friday....a complete different story! I don't know if it's because the sun was out and it was Friday or what. I kept thinking about that nice cup of foamy heaven! I think if I don't ever eat meat again I'd be Ok, but I don't think I can stop drinking coffee for more than 7 days.

cont.

DAY 4 and DAY 5

The craving for coffee on Wednesday afternoon was caused by the annoyance of wanting to fall asleep on my desk at work.

I’m realizing that if any difference, the lack of coffee is making me even more sleepy than usual. The fatigue continues to be present (less frequent though), accompanied by two friends, the constant yawning and grogginess.

I had an eye exam scheduled on Wednesday which helped me get my mind off coffee. One of the good pros of not having coffee is that I am re-discovering the goodness of different (decaffeinated) teas. A co-worker gave me a sachet of delicious Numi Monkey King Jasmine green tea. That prompted me to stop at Remedy Teas shop and get a package of different teas. I’m sipping now a delicious Cherry Amararetto rooibos (red bush) tea. Life is good again!

Oops! I almost forgot to tell you that my vision is 20/20. Good news!

cont.

DAY 2 and DAY 3
Yesterday was a (good) busy day. I played volleyball in a tournament at Meany middle school a couple blocks from my house. The team was called Poder Latino, definitely not my name choice - let me tell you. We had two Mexicans and two other Brazilians and despite all the latin power we took second place. Not bad considering we only had 5 players - bad management by the captain. No time to think about coffee that day.

Today was hard. My body is used to that routine of getting coffee in the morning around 8 AM followed by a bagel or other snack. There was a huge gap mid-morning where the enjoyment of a cup of coffee should take place and I could barely function without it, half asleep. The non-caffeinated tea helped but it was far from satisfying the crave the way a cup of coffee does. I managed to survive a day at work without coffee though.

NO Coffee

I decided to quit coffee for a week to check if my occasional fatigue and tiredness is related to the waves of caffeine and sugar shot into my body daily. Or maybe the real reason for the coffee abstinence is to trick my body into believing that there will be no more high or jiggers just so I can overdose on a giant latte next week.

DAY 1
Not so bad. From a scale of 1 to 5, with 1 being "I thought about coffee but resisted the temptation" to 5 being "fuck this I'm getting coffee", I'd say I was around number 2.
Despite the small headache around 6 o'clock I survived the first day.

What a crazy world!

It's hard to be optimist when the daily news just suck and day after day we get bombarded by news about all the greed and corruption around us. I have to share these two headlines from the Seattle Times last week.

The first one being: Store closing, but Starbucks buys a jet. And guess what, the new jet spent its first two weeks under Starbucks ownership in Hawaii. Nice!!!

The second one being: Divorcing husband wants kidney back. Are you kidding me? Apparently the husband was not!

To complete the not-so-great week I cut my hand washing the dishes last Sunday. Despite being a small cut (1 inch long) and not very deep, I decided to go to the emergency room to check if I needed stitches. Two hours later and $15 poorer I left the hospital with dermabond on my hand (super glue for cuts) and band aid.

But wait! There's more...
On a good note, last week I got to enjoy the company of great friends, including Wendy. I was also introduced to this great New Zealand group Flight of the Conchords at Walter's house. And Eric brought home by coincidence the HBO show they made last year. Awesome!






If you want me to, I can hang 'round with you
If I only knew, that's what you're into

You and him, him and you
If that's what you're into
Him hangin' round, around you
You hangin' round, yeah you're there too

And if you want me to, I will take off all my clothes for you
I'll take off all my clothes for you
If that's what you're into

How 'bout him in the nude?
If that's what you're into
In the nude in front of you
Is that what you'd wanna view?

If it's cool with you, I'll let you get naked too
It could be a dream come true, providing that's what you are into

Is that what you're into?
Him and you in the nude?
That's what he's prepared to do
Is that the kind of thing that you think you might be into?

And then maybe later we'll get hot by the refrigerator
In the kitchen next to the pantry
You think that might be what you fancy?

In the buff, bein' rude
Doin' stuff with the food
Gettin' nude with his food
We heard that's what you are into

Then on our next date
well you could bring your roommate
I don't know if Stu is keen to
But maybe we could double team you

How 'bout you and two dudes?
Him, you, and Stu in the nude
Bein' lewd with two dudes with food
Well that's if Stu's into it too

All the things I do
The things I'd do for you
If I only knew, that's what you're into

Trilha

Umas das grandes vantagens e atrações do Estado de Washington são seus vários parques e trilhas para caminhada, bicicleta ou cavalo. A trilha de hoje tem mais de 31 milhas de distância, chamada Snoqualmie Valley Trail , por volta de 30 milhas noroeste de Seattle. Saímos (eu e o Eric) as 11 da manhã e apesar de quase ter tido um ataque nervoso ao ver neve na estrada chegando perto do destino, a viajem foi tranquila e valeu a pena, com direito a exercício bastante vigoroso.
Começamos com a vista da Snoqualmie Falls (cachoeira de Snoqualmie), depois chegando a trilha com mais de 31.5 milhas entre floresta, fazendas e plantações. Pedalamos por volta de 20 milhas (ida e volta), parando na cidade de North Bend para torta de cereja e café. Nota 8!

2009

What I like about the arrival of a new year is the idea of a new beginning, the possibility of starting new things, resetting new goals and recharging your positiveness. In other words, to give yourself another change!

Happy New Year to all you, friends and family!

Pré-Hawaii

Com menos de uma semana para o começo de minhas férias, não vejo a hora de pegar o avião para Maui, primeira parada no Hawaii. Quinta-feira saio para Maui. No Domingo pegarei o Super Ferry (barco) de Maui para Oahu. A emoção e ansiedade cresce a cada dia, juntos com a vontade de viajar, a felicidade de não ter que trabalhar por duas semanas e alegria de conhecer o Havaii. O mais difícil é conter tudo isso para que não pareca "mais feliz que pinto na merda", pois felicidade de conhecer o Hawaii por aqui é bastante cliché. A maioria dos meus amigos de Seattle ou são havaianos ou sempre passam férias lá. Sou um dos últimos a conhecer o quinquagésimo estado americano. Antes tarde do que nunca!
Lista de viajem:
- Lugar pra ficar em Maui e Oahu: confirmado;
- Transporte nos dois lugares: semi-confirmado;
- Calção de banho, camisa e protetor solar: na sacola;
- Pé de pato e máscara de mergulho: faltando.

Ai ai...hoje ainda é Sábado...

Hiking

Last weekend I borrowed my brother's car and we decided to explore North Cascade National park. It was a beautiful Summer day and we got to see some pretty nice places and animals, including deers and a BEAR!
It was so exciting to see for the first time this cute bear in the wild. Until we realized that the mom should be around too. We freaked out and moved on.
Check it out...




We also saw this magnificent 680 years old Douglas fir tree.